I'm leaving home in a few days to go to school, and I think it's depressing people. I'm restless and edgy, can't find anything to do and can't stand being around people. My brother suddenly lost all will to do anything a few hours ago and has been crying, though we don't know why. My mom's had a super short fuse, been emotionally high-strung, and cried more often than usual. My dad... I donno. He's moving too, so I dunno if it affects him. He's bitchier, for sure, but I have no idea why.

I guess it's pretty self-centered to think this could be because I'm leaving, but my mom has said stuff about her own feelings, separation anxiety but being unwilling to tell me because she wants me to do well without worrying, and my bro... Has never been like this before. He reminds me of me. Not finding anything to hold his attention, almost flipping out from the frustration of incureable boredom. It could be a teenage thing, could be because of other things, could be from anything. I don't know. Most of his friends moved away over the summer, and he's really close to dad, so dad moving 2000km away sucks balls for him. I think that part hurts mom too, because she knows that she can't do the same kind of things for my brother as my dad can, and because he's ditching. dad's always been like this, but just because she's used to it, doesn't mean she's happy about it.

I feel like an ass about it all. I'm leaving because I'm not happy with my shithole of a school in Whitehole. It's super selfish. I should just stay here with my people, because I know I'm hurting them. =/ I'm probably hurting myself too, but I'm too apathetic to admit to that right now. I wonder if this'll be like Germany, where I didn't really miss the people back home at all, and then when I left Germany, people cried, acted all around distressed... And I didn't really care. And when I was back in Canada, I didn't miss the people I spent three months with, didn't even really think about them. I'm a cold bitch and really should care more. XD;;

/sigh

I've been avoiding people, both irl and online. =/ Being around almost everyone is draining right now, and I have no idea why. Only Seguchi is really enjoyable to talk to. She's great. Love her.

I think I'll head to bed, or something. Tomorrow I'll make an effort to spend time with people that I don't want to see, because I gotta say goodbye.

[/end whining]